Over the years there have been some recreational and creative things that I have really wanted to do, but somehow never achieved. Of course, it was easy to justify this procrastination. For instance, there always seemed to be a backlog of high priority tasks that must be completed before starting on my “dreams”. Moreover it was easy to tell myself that workplace and family responsibilities were so onerous that these long-term personal aspirations, just needed to wait.
It was easy to reassure myself that this lack of inaction was merely temporary and that someday I would have the time, energy and motivation to fulfil goals such as :
Playing golf without losing my temper or so many balls
Writing a book
Publishing a "blog
Learning a foreign language
Sight reading music
Playing my keyboard with both hands
Effortless improvising guitar solos
Composing and recording songs
Numerous other (probably unrealistic) things.
I now realise that I had become quite proficient in the art of procrastination. Indeed I must admit that I quite enjoyed having a fantasy life in which I could enjoy the prospect of imaginary achievements without having to do any of the hard work necessary to achieve the real thing. Like many people, I found it comforting to become a causal “Walter Mitty”.
I’m not much of a movie goer, but on long international flights I tend to pass the time by binge watching movies. On one such occasion, several years ago, I found myself watching “The Bucket List”.
This was a movie in which Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman played the roles of terminally friends who escaped from a cancer ward and headed off on a road trip with a wish list of things they wanted to do before their imminent demise. Of the many mid-air movies I have watched over the years, this is one of the few that I can actually recall.
Little did I know that I would also experience a life-changing event which would prompt me to write my own bucket list and start turning some of my aspirations into realistic projects. Some twelve years ago I was diagnosed with fairly aggressive prostate cancer which required surgery. Whilst I have not required any subsequent treatment I have been left with the a deep sense of my own mortality. For someone nearing the end of his eighth decade I have benefited from this. It has enabled me to do some end of life planning and, at last, start ticking off the items on my own bucket list. It rather reminds me of how I felt as I crossed the finishing line at the one and only marathon race: Relief and fulfilment following the end of a long and challenging course.
Of course, I’ve had to be realistic about what is actually achievable for a bloke like me, whose physical and cognitive capacities are waning, not waxing. I had to audit my bucket list and delete some items such as learning to read music. After some valiant efforts and on the advice of a teacher friend I graciously admitted defeat and moved on to other more achievable things. In any case, my musical efforts always seem to entertain myself and others with similar tastes. My efforts to learn a foreign language stalled when I realised that it was highly unlikely that, at my age, I could ever become sufficiently fluent to converse with native speakers or that I might actually have the opportunity to travel overseas again. I felt a real sense of relief when I donated my golf clubs to a local “op” shop with the realisation that I would never again face the frustration of searching for golf balls “in the rough”.
Significant progress has, however, been made with some items on my bucket list. I have completed the first edition of my memoirs and recorded an album of tradition and original folk genre songs. This post marks the launch of my website www.johnbeattie.info which will document my progress with other items on the bucket list For more than 60 years I worked in a a wide range of health and community services jobs as both professional and volunteer capacities. . I will be writing a series of opinion pieces that will draw on this experience. I will also provide background and access information about my memoirs and folk music CD.
My writing has sometimes been criticised (probably justifiably) as being un-necessarily formal jargon ridden. This is probably a legacy from the years I spent working as a Health and Community Services bureaucrat. I will endeavour to use plain English and I hope that should I lapse into obfuscation (the action of making something obscure, unclear, or unintelligible) I will be taken to task! I hope also that what I write may resonate with some people. Do let me know!
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